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Monday, February 22, 2010

The iPad is for Porn

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After recent news of Apple's War on Porn, it finally hit me. Adobe and Apple's Flash debacle wasn't about anyone's laziness, ownership of digital rights, or restrictions on open-source. It was about keeping their little slate as clean as possible from the rarely talked about, but highly influential adult entertainment industry.

I remember it was a game-changer the day when we first heard the first Blu-ray disc was set to be released to the masses. At that point, I pictured someone in their office throwing their laptop to the floor and yelling, "There, it's done! Blu-ray wins!"

And while Apple's recent crackdown of "sexually explicit applications" may not come across as such a surprise, I'm personally convinced that they are on their way to killing off the ultimate adult entertainment device ever created by man. Allow me to name the top 5 reasons why:
  1. It has the sensual power of touch. Multi-touch, to be exact. If some creative developers could develop some highly addicting and entertaining games involving 3-D articles of clothing, the results could only be brilliant. Either that, or an army of perverted iPad gamers.
  2. It has tilt. Just more ingenious gaming possibilities.
  3. It's almost too conveniently sized. Bring it on the bus. A restroom. A funeral home. There is no place too inconvenient or too small. The iPad fits it all.
  4. It's the ultimate multimedia hub. The ability to emulate the reading experience of a magazine with the ability to display video and animation has been the dream for many adult media collectors for years.
  5. It's sexy by nature. Hey - that almost sounds like a rap song. Anyway, many industrial designers argue that the visual impression gained within the first few milliseconds and after 6 months is essential to a successful design (though don't quote me on that). Even though it's purely a subjective view that the iPad would be an aesthetically wonderful experience, I would like to certainly think so.
Though it may be a longshot, calling any form of adult media "aesthetic" may be pushing it, but if you're willing to accept it, the pieces fall right into place.

Now, my guess a jailbroken iPad would mean one of two things. Either one, it would mean porn would be the first for developers to go bananas and a bonanza of pornography games, magazines, and new experiences will be available for the masses. Or, Apple would finally acknowledge the mountain of gold they've been sitting on and open up the floodgates for the 18+. The Earth would probably stop moving for a while. The iPad would explode the following day in record-breaking hype and popularity that no one would be able to use a normal computer ever again.
That's what I call a game-changer, dude.

Image: Wired

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